What a mess! I wonder if this is our Watergate? Or just a distracting farce?
I finally got around to reading the placard. I thought the brouhaha was protesting the Upper Chamber’s protest at being phased out as obsolete. I thought they were for it. The protestors I mean. Cheering the abolishment of a bunch of old fuddy duddy civil servants decked out in silly gowns like queens in a queer parade. What the heck do a bunch of silly old titles like Baron or Eald or Comite or Thegn or Cearl have to do with the modern world anyway? Honorary lifetime titles for some invention or achievement or charity or do-goodyism or other? Do they even bother to go to the Upper Chamber and contribute free time to civics? I don’t think so! And military officers should not even be allowed into the Upper Chamber anyway. Isn’t the Upper Chamber civilian? I don’t remember my old civics class. I can’t remember the check and balances.
All anyone sees are old queers and blokes and ladies with blue tinged hair parading through the Cleardan Portal every Solstice Morning in an antiquated pomp and circumstances opening of the Great Hall of Gildagad. The finale of End of the Year Carnival. Silly costumes climaxing with silly couture! Then the Lower Chamber comes with in couture only slightly less silly while boasting morals as frayed as the basting on their over tunics. Then either the King or else the Master parades in the hallowed old hall decked out in the silliest couture of all to give a speech prepared by the Privy Council politicians.
By tradition the Chief Navigator is allowed to co-write the speech. By tradition the King or else the Master only reads the very last line of whatever the Chief Navigator scribbles. Legend says old King Gilly read his speech for the first time in the middle of the hallowed ceremony instead of checking it out beforehand. His Chief Navigator had scribbled ‘Fuck you too you fucking old queer!’ The old king who actually was openly Gay just laughed and read the last line out loud and the whole hallowed chamber erupted into laughter! The cheap politician found himself on the receiving end of the political insult! Anyway! Then there is a Counting of the Arrows of Majority and the Chief Navigator picks his Cockpit to run the country. I figured the anarchists in Guy Fawkes masks wanted the dog and pony show dumped in the ash can of history.
Anyway. Apparently the protestors are protesting the oversight. The checks and balances. The Upper Chamber is suppose to police the Lower Chamber. The Lower Chamber is elected! Hurrah! Direct hurly burly venal Democracy! The Upper Chamber is very indirect democracy. It is a sort of democracy but it is indirect and circular through the maze of civic duty and moral responsibility and guardianship of the Magnanimous Charter and protector of the Constitution. That sort of old fashion patriotism that does not exist anymore. Civic duty cannot be bought. Moral responsibility cannot be packaged. Guardianship of the Magnanimous Charter cannot be sold by the baker’s dozen. Protection of the Constitution cannot be advertised with a TV jiggle.
But election funds buys Lower Chamber politicians and everyone knows their local navigator is crooked. Bought and paid for by billionaires and their crony insiders sucking the Teats of Government. Our version of the Koch Brothers buy navigators by the baker’s dozen. Everyone knows it! The advertising agency I work for sells Lower Chamber navigators with million gilda campaigns for Deep Pockets. The mother lode of profit for the agency. The Upper Chamber is suppose to police the crooks stealing from the apple cart. And apparently the Upper Chamber was investigating governmental embezzlement by the Lower Chamber stealing from the apple cart. To be exact the Chief Navigator and his Cockpit. Where tax monies were really going instead of where they should have been going. That sort of thing.
So the old fossils and antiquated dinosaurs and goody-two-shoes and queers and blokes and dames with blue tinged hair were actually protesting the budget bill. They said they would not sign it. No signing means no passing. No passing means no budget. No budget means no government. A Mexican standoff. They will freeze every bill by refusing to vote until the Chief Navigator produces an audit of Cockpit finances. Missing monies apparently. The old fuddy duddy Barons and Ealds and Comites and Thegn and Cearls and honorary life time achievement titles and philanthropic goody-two-shoes all said they would not play the ‘thrall’ [that is slave in English] and rubber stamp a crooked budget bill. The old gals and geezers demanded a public audit of governmental accounts. Missing money. Missing tax money. So that was why the Chief Navigator retaliated by introducing a bill to abolish the whole Upper Chamber — which normally populates the Royal Privy Council. What a mess! I wonder if this is our Watergate? Or just a distracting farce? Anyway! I need to finish my advertising slogan for the pickles campaign. It is so hard to come up with a fresh sales pitch for pickles. If I can’t find a fresh angle I will lose my part time job. If only I can hang on long enough to score the mother lode? Political ads! I could become one of the power suits instead of a nobody. I am so very tired of being as miserable minion!